When You Stop Trying to Control Everything

For the longest time, I thought peace would come once I had everything figured out.
I always had to have a clear plan, a solid timeline and a certainty about what was coming next.
Not knowing made me anxious and restless, and I always felt like a bit of a failure. So I planned and replanned, asked questions I couldn’t answer yet, and replayed future scenarios in my head like preparation would somehow protect me.
It didn’t. It only made me tired.

One thing I’ve had to confront is how much my need for control was stealing from me. I wasn’t really living the days I was in. I was constantly bracing for the next one.

And the hard truth is this: life does not reward our need to know everything in advance.

No matter how much you plan, things will still shift. People will change. Opportunities will show up late. Some things will fall apart without explanation. And carrying the weight of needing to be prepared for all of it can quietly make you unhappy.

I’m learning, slowly, to loosen my grip.

To focus less on having answers and more on being present.
To trade “What if?” for “What is?”, and to stop postponing peace until life feels certain.

It’s not easy, trust me. I still catch myself wanting guarantees. I still want to know how things will turn out. But I’m realising that control isn’t what keeps me safe, awareness does.
Awareness of what I can do today, what’s actually in front of me and knowing that this moment, imperfect as it is, is still mine.

If you’ve been feeling anxious, unsettled, or constantly behind, maybe it’s not because you’re doing life wrong. Maybe you’re just carrying too much.
So today, I want to offer you a softer way: You don’t have to have it all figured out to be okay.

You don’t need a perfect plan to start living your life.
You’re allowed to rest your mind where your feet already are.

Let this year teach you how to live without gripping everything so tightly.
Some things will make sense later.
Some things won’t.
And somehow, you’ll still be okay.

With love,
-Somgolie from MANI