Emotional Slaps

Imagine your loved one has been more tired and overwhelmed than usual. And when you ask how they're doing, and they decide to be actually honest about how they've been feeling, you respond, "It's a new season o! You shouldn't be feeling this way" or "Kai, life is stressful for everybody. Just manage". Because somehow that is supposed to make things better.

If someone said that to you after you've finished venting, how would that make you feel? There's a high chance you'd feel worse off, even, because all that person has done is give you an emotional slap. No one likes to feel invalidated, no one likes to feel shut down. So let’s change that action.

Our language and response to people's feelings matter. They may not necessarily ask us to fix things for them or make their problems disappear. They might just want to be seen and listened to.

So try it today. Instead of "You shouldn't be feeling this way", you can say "I'm glad you're sharing this with me" or "I'm here for you". In place of "Just manage", you can say "I understand why this is so tiring for you". When someone expresses themselves, don't shut them down or make it all about you. Listen, and show that you care. As insignificant as it may seem, it matters a whole lot💚

-Oma from MANI