Delayed Onset Reaction

Have you ever been hurt by someone, but in the moment, you just felt... nothing? Meanwhile, everyone you tell is angrier than you are.

You might even keep laughing and talking with the person like everything is fine, but then later, sometimes much later, the hurt finally hits you. And by then, you might feel awkward bringing it up because it is already “old news”.

I used to notice this pattern in myself. Whenever someone offended me, especially someone close to me, my first instinct was to assume that I was the problem. I would overthink every detail to try to figure out where I might have messed up. By the time I would realise it wasn’t actually my fault and allow myself to feel the hurt, too much time would have passed.

Breaking that habit meant understanding that the way people treat me is a reflection of themselves, not me, and also, reminding myself that I am not responsible for other people’s actions.

It is not easy, but it is possible. And if you respond this way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. If I could unlearn it, you can too.

All my love,

-Jhoye from MANI