Closure

Have you ever had a moment of "closure" after a friendship or relationship ended but it didn't feel complete?  Maybe you never got to fully express the depth of how you felt: how much their actions hurt, how belittled you felt, and how it all affected you long after the relationship ended. And so, it still lingers in your mind.

The thing about closure is that it doesn’t always come from the other person, it often has to come from within. It’s okay to wish you had said more, but just because you didn’t at the time doesn’t mean your feelings are less valid now. You don’t need their recognition of your pain to make it real. It was real, and it mattered.

It might feel like it’s too late, but maybe what you really need isn’t to go back and tell them; it’s to tell yourself that you deserved better. You deserved kindness, and respect, not pity or avoidance. And it's okay to grieve the fact that you didn’t get that at the time.

If it helps, you could try writing out what you wish you had said, not to send to them, but just to get it out. You can let it all out and then decide what to do with it. Sometimes just seeing your words in front of you can bring a sense of peace, even if the person you’re writing to never reads them.

And even though you didn’t say it then, you know now that your feelings were valid. That’s what truly matters🩷

Oma from MANI