Becoming what you once needed

Hey you,

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much of who we become is shaped by what we once longed for.

The care we give, the way we listen and the softness we offer. Most times, it’s not because life gave us an overflow of those things; it’s because it didn’t.

I think that’s the quiet truth behind a lot of kind people. We learned empathy the hard way, by noticing what hurt, what was missing, what we wished someone had said to us.

And so now, when someone talks to you, you really listen. When you see someone struggling, you notice the small details. When someone needs grace, you give it, not because it was always given to you, but because you know what it feels like to go without it.

That’s a different kind of strength. The kind that rebuilds the world gently, one small kindness at a time.

But here’s the part we often forget: you deserve that same gentleness you’ve spent years learning to give. You don’t always have to be the strong one, the steady one, the one who understands. You get to be the one who rests. The one who asks for help and receives it. If no one’s told you this lately — thank you. For the way you show up and for the quiet ways you make life softer for others

And I hope that as you keep giving, you remember this: healing doesn’t only happen when someone loves you the way you need — it also happens when you become that person for yourself.

You’re doing that already, even if you don’t see it yet.

With love,

-Golie from MANI