Be Strong

When encouragement leaves no room for vulnerability

“Be strong.”

It is a phrase many of us have heard and said. It often comes from a place of care. We say it because we want someone to keep going, to remember their resilience, and to believe that difficult moments will not last forever.

But sometimes, after hearing “be strong” often enough, a person may begin to wonder:

Does being strong mean I should not cry?

Does it mean I should keep my struggles to myself?

Does it mean I have to appear okay, even when I am not?

Encouragement is important, but support can also make room for honesty.

Strength does not always look like having everything under control. Sometimes, strength is admitting that something feels difficult.

Sometimes, it is taking a break, expressing how you feel, or allowing someone you trust to support you. We can encourage people without making them feel that they have to hide what they are experiencing.

Alongside “Be strong,” we can also say: “You do not have to pretend with me.” “I am here if you would like to talk.” “Take things one step at a time.”

Perhaps being strong is not about never showing vulnerability. Perhaps strength is having the courage to be honest about what we need.

-Chinenye from MANI