Access Denied

I’ve always thought that forgiving someone meant that things had to go back to the way they used to be. Regardless of whether or not I was okay with it, I believed that letting things go back to how they were was true proof that I had forgiven.

In hindsight, that mindset was very unhealthy for those relationships. When you do not give yourself the time and space to fully process your emotions when someone offends you, it creates room for resentment to grow, and the relationship might not survive that.

I have had to unlearn that and understand that forgiveness does not always mean access. It was a bit difficult at first, but the truth is, you can only truly move forward when you allow yourself to honestly process how their actions or words made you feel.

And yes, it is possible to forgive someone while still keeping your boundaries in place; it does not make you a bad person. Those boundaries are there to protect your peace, and your peace is important.

All my love,

-Jhoye from MANI